A Matter of Opinion
by lefcadio
Summary: Light engages L in a debate about justice, morality, and Kira.


He probably shouldn't be finding it unnerving, but he can't help it. The atmosphere in the lecture hall is subdued; stuffy - a feeling of age and lethargy, compounded by the feigned interest of the students. The windows are tightly closed, allowing wide shafts of late-morning sunlight to fall through, catching the motes of dust floating in the air. The walls are beige; the desks are brown. The lecturer's voice drones on, and he knows he should be listening more carefully. 

But he can feel _those_ eyes on his back, and knows exactly what he'll see if he turns around. After all, he's got that face burned into his memory by now, though it's only been a few days; sometimes those shadowed eyes and that slack mouth darken his dreams, along with thin, long-fingered hands and a hunched posture.

It's almost a surreal experience when the only sound echoing around the otherwise silent rooms ends; the lecture is over, and all at once the buzz of chatter starts up; his classmate turns to him with a smile, flashing those pretty white teeth and says, "oh Light, you really weren't paying attention today, were you?"

But he laughs it off with an endearing half-protest, all the while his eyes scanning the crowd of dispersing students for that familiar figure.

It hasn't been long, but he knows how this goes.

And, there: the lone figure, that people whisper and stare at but do not walk with. That stuffs his hands in his pockets and carries himself so carelessly. Light wonders why he still comes - it would have to stop soon, surely, as they both must realise that this is now a waste of time.

He knows as he exits the building that L will be waiting for him, and - there, on the usual white-slatted bench; legs hunched up, feet bare. His lips twist into a lazy, pretty half-smile as he approaches; sees L look up, and raises a hand in that false display of friendly familiarity.

"Yagami-kun." Bland, non-committal.

"Ryuuzaki." Friendly, relaxed, fake.

Without another word, L slips off the bench into his loose shoes, laces trailing, and looks back at Light with an almost-smile. He accepts the unspoken invitation, and they begin to walk.

It's noon: the shadows stand out starkly against the pale, chalky surface of the pathway. Light notices that L's shoes are covered in the white dust; wonders if it's seeped through onto the callused soles of his feet (because they must be - distantly, analytically - if he rarely wears shoes)

He interrupts his own chain of thought. "You're still watching me, of course," he keeps his voice guarded, tone deceptively light.

L does what he always does, and stares at him with that unreadable gaze. Curiosity? Amusement? Light grits his teeth and forces a smile.

"Yes. Of course, I apologise if it's a problem for you, Yagami-kun."

Certainly, he's said this before - and it's always with the same utter _disinterest_ that lets Light know that, honestly, L doesn't care at all. Really, Light would have been disappointed in him if he had.

"You're still convinced I'm Kira, then?"

L stops in his tracks, and looks around as though faintly surprised to find himself under the mottled shadow of a large tree. He presses a finger to his lips in thought, and gazes upwards as though the answer to Light's question can be found in the branches above.

"No," he looks at Light again, hair falling in front of his eyes and hands in both pockets, "it's still only at about one percent. But you remain my main suspect... let's sit here."

Light's somewhat surprised when L steps over onto the darkly green grassy area beneath the tree, and sits down unceremoniously, "...on the _floor_?"

He receives no response from L, and so shrugs, knowing it's probably simply worthwhile to humour him. The grass is soft but faintly damp; shadows mixed with sunlight dapple the ground, and the leaves above rustle faintly in the breeze.

There's silence, for a while; that's how this usually goes. Light, however, is bored of this. Why not... have a little fun?

"Why do you think Kira's doing the things he does?" L doesn't respond immediately, but Light can see the subtle change in his posture - the way he stiffens slightly; his attention has been caught.

"I think," L begins tonelessly, though his eyes are focused carefully on Light, "he believes he is doing the right thing. He believes that by killing off criminals, he will somehow make the world a better place. You know this already, don't you?"

Light laughs, and inclines his head. He likes it when L looks at him so intently - he can look all he want, but he'll see nothing. "Of course. But I'm intrigued by your viewpoints, Ryuuzaki; why it is that you do what _you_ do. So... why do you think that what Kira's doing is wrong?"

L's gaze narrows almost imperceptibly, but Light notices. L picks a strand of grass and begins to twirl it around his fingers, "Kira's killing people he has no right to kill. He's deluded in thinking he's justice when, in fact, he's simply obstructing it. It's the actions of one who's naïve and childish... wouldn't you say, Yagami-kun?"

He keeps his expression neutral, but his fingers dig in roughly to the grass and dirt beneath his hands. Of course, L would spout this kind of ignorance. He shrugs and watches L bite on his thumb, "obviously. But this is purely interesting as an academic discussion, wouldn't you say... Ryuuzaki?"

L blinks, and then there _is_ a smile, and it's somewhat disconcerting to see. Clouds have begun to hide the sun, and the air cools and shadows spread.

"So," Light continues, "what do you think justice _is_? Both you and Kira lay claim to it; what makes you correct?"

That smile widens, and Light gets that strange, uncomfortable feeling in his stomach again.

"Now, Yagami-kun," L's tone is mildly chiding, and it irritates Light; makes him want to wipe that face of any expression forever. "You never studied morality or ethics in school?" He remains silent, so L carries on, "as humans, we live by a commonly agree moral code. It's either that, or chaos. Justice... justice is upholding that code."

"A little vague, don't you think?" Light's actually quite amused he received such a simplistic answer, "you call Kira childish, but your own worldview is hardly much different. It comes down to morality, but in the end isn't morality simply a matter of opinion?"

"Is it?" L's rocking back and forth a little, the shadows under his eyes dark and pronounced, and he's watching Light closely, "most would beg to differ, I think. Keep these tenets: we have civilised society. Discard them: mayhem. Those who break them place entirely too much value on their own selves - if they wish to live among others, that is. Kill, and the killer shall be suppressed to save the masses. Do you not think this is how it should work?"

_Getting closer._

"Of course," Light laughs helplessly and holds up his hands, giving the charming smile that comes so easily, "I'm not doubting you, Ryuuzaki. I want Kira caught as much as you. I'm just... interested by your thought process. That's alright, isn't it?"

This was far more interesting than any psychology lecture.

"Naturally," L's digging into his pockets and pulling out a handful of sweets; multi-coloured and strangely out of place. Light politely refuses the offer of one, and just watches as L eats three at once, sucking on them contentedly.

"So, 'suppressing the killers to save the masses'... wouldn't you say that's what Kira thinks he's doing? He's killing, but essentially... so have you." This catches L's attention and he stops focusing on his sweets, and frowns, brow furrowing. "Are you really so much more righteous when you're willing to sacrifice other people's lives in order to catch him?"

"...who?" Light would like to laugh, but contains himself - just raises his eyebrows and asks,

"You don't remember? Lind L. Tailor. I saw that broadcast too, you know."

_Of course you do._

L's expression clears at that. "Lind L. Tailor was a criminal scheduled to die. He'd had a fair trial, and it was his time."

"So you're absolved of blame? A heart attack's quite a painful way to go, don't you think? Yet it's acceptable to him to die in such a way, in an _experiment_, but not other criminals by Kira's hand?"

Light's trying to sound distant, clinical - this is only a _theoretical_ discussion, after all. L's pondering and leaning back against the tree, slowly sucking on his sweets again. He gives Light a sidelong glance, and speaks quite calmly. "I didn't really think you were the type to twist logic so, Yagami-kun. Besides which, while Lind L. Tailor's cause of death was unfortunate, it was for the greater good. I am now much closer to catching Kira." He gives a little smile, and Light returns it.

"Ah... would you use others, too, if it would mean the capture of Kira? Would you let others die?" He waits a moment, but L does not respond, and he knows it's true. "So in a way, you and Kira are quite similar... you're willing to let people die for the greater good; Kira's willing to kill people for the greater good."

L's shaking his head, and resting his arms on his knees as he looks over at Light. The temperature has cooled, and the sun is still hidden by the clouds. "I'm surprised if you think the distinction is so subtle. We have our similarities as I have admitted, but I'm afraid that there's not as small a difference as you're trying to imply. Everything I'm doing is for justice; to save lives in the long run. Kira has no right to judge; he could be killing innocent men who have not been able to prove thus in trials yet. Kira is no God; no jury... just one man, and he is fallible."

"You don't think you're fallible?" Light watches in faint amusement as L shifts (is it in irritation?), and restlessly reaches for another sweet. He knows that if he were honest, this doesn't really have a point; neither of their opinions will be changed. But of course he finds it a fascinating topic, and who better to debate with than L?

"You're twisting my words, Yagami-kun." His expression is dark, and Light's wondering if this will make him appear more suspicious, or less. Most likely it will make no difference, as he could be asking as easily from a student's cynical academic point of view as from Kira's.

He decides to let that go and tries one last angle, "if he goes against our moral code; against that which is supposed to protect the masses - why are they beginning to support him? People from all over the world sanction what he does! It's worrying, don't you think?"

"Not really," L is beginning to sound bored, and Light suspects they are coming to an impasse. "Those who 'support' Kira only do so out of fear, and because they believe it to be some kind of divine punishment. But Kira is not divine, and one man should not presume to act as God. A society kept oppressed because of fear is unstable; a world under Kira would be false, and could not survive."

He'd had a faint hope that L might waver; but unsurprisingly he had not, and so the fun had been lost somewhat.

"Yes, you're quite right, of course. I'm glad someone with as strong beliefs as yourself is heading the investigation." Light stands up and brushes himself off before extending a hand to L with a smile. Unexpectedly, the offer is accepted and he feels an uncomfortably hot, bony hand tightening around his own.

"I'm glad you agree." L's strangely close and Light can see the shining stickiness from the sweets on his lips. But then he's turning, and L's starting to wander away.

"Wait--" Light's not sure what makes him speak out, but L's turning around, actually surprised, and so it's almost worth it just for that. But the sky above them is darkening, and Light's harbouring the suspicious feeling that he didn't quite come across as friendly enough. "...would you like to go and get some cake?"

L brightens a little at that, and looks faintly pleased. "Yes, I'd like that."

Light hears a throaty snicker, and glances sideways to see Ryuk descending from the tree.

"You lost that debate pretty badly you know, Light."

He hides his irritation behind a plastered-on smile, and walks ahead to join L. The detective may veil himself in twisted logic, but _he_ has the vindication - and proof - that he's right.

And someday, when L dies at his hand, Light's certain that he will see it too.


End file.
